There are some men who seem to naturally have success in their dealings with women. Some people call them players, others call them Don Juans. Whatever the name, these men are adept at getting women to take a relationship from the public sphere to the bedroom, and they have four basic commonalities in their thoughts and actions. If you follow in their footsteps, your seduction will be far more successful than it was before.



The first thing all successful seducers share is the core belief that women enjoy sex just as much as they do, even if they won't admit it. Men with less skill at seduction believe the opposite -- that women dislike having sex and do everything possible to avoid it -- and set themselves up to fail. The fact is, women who are healthy and well-adjusted enjoy having sex a lot more than many men suspect! It's public opinion that prevents her from acting on her natural instincts.

That's why it's important to know the second thing all successful seducers know: that it's up to the man to be assertive in bed. Again, unsuccessful seducers believe the opposite -- that it's the lady's place to call the shots -- and let their fear of rejection lead to sexual frustration. Women in Western society are socialized to let a man take the lead; it all comes from traditional values handed down for centuries. In order to go with her feelings about a sexual encounter, a woman must be able to reason to herself that the man was just too irresistible, that she couldn't help herself or she was swept off her feet.

Take a moment to think about this: in our society, a man who is known to go out with many women is looked upon as fortunate, socially desirable, and sexually potent. A woman who is known to go out with many men is looked upon as distasteful, immoral, and a terrible associate. Promiscuous men develop personality cults; promiscuous women are shunned from the social sphere. It's just how it is in our society, but understanding that dynamic is important to using it to your advantage.

So now that you know the two most important things to keep in mind about women -- that they like sex and they expect men to take the lead -- there are two actions that go with it.

First, a successful seducer will carefully groom everything he says and does to the specific purpose of putting a woman's logical mind at ease and her emotions engaged. He does this in order to put her reason and her emotions on the same level. He knows that women are naturally emotional creatures who will listen to their emotions when given the choice between thought and feeling, and that making her feel good while keeping her mind worry-free will take him places. Rather than setting off alarm bells in her head by saying directly suggesting a trip back to her place, a successful seducer says something like, "I don't have a lot of time, but I'd love to stop by your place and pick up that book." This calms her mind because it's a completely legitimate reason for the two of you to be alone together. The false time constraint also sets her mind at ease.

The other technique successful seducers use is "two steps forward, one step back." They press the advantage for a while then return to a less intense phase in the process to draw out the seduction, let his lady enjoy the experience, and continue to nonverbally assure her that it's not all about sex -- because if it were, you'd go straight from kissing to getting naked, and that's precisely what should not happen in any seduction situation.

For example, when you get to the point where clothes are starting to fall to the floor, take some time to forget about the rest of the clothes and go back to kissing and cuddling. Let the intensity increase naturally to the point where more clothes come off. When there are no more clothes, take plenty of time to explore her body before getting down and dirty.

Now you know the four secrets to a successful seduction. Women like sex. Women want men to take the lead. Plausible deniability is a woman's best friend. Two steps forward, one step back. Good luck!