1. Once you and your spouse have decided to get a divorce, do everything that you can to keep your relationship peaceful and quarrel-free. Fights, misunderstanding and conflicts can only make your divorce look very ugly.



2. Make it a point that you consult lawyer. Divorce is a very difficult ordeal and a guidance of a lawyer will help you. It is important to have the legal advice of an attorney for you to be aware that you are on the right track. An attorney will enlighten you of the divorce process and other immediate options in your state. Every state offers a divorce law that may be different from another state. It will be best that you will make a research on the divorce laws implemented on your own state. Work closely with the lawyer so that you will be able to discuss with him the reasonable results expected and so that there will be no loser on any of the opposite parties. You can also visit your local family department for initial advice and they may be able to refer you to some qualified attorneys.

3. Make a rundown of your financial documents, retirement and financial accounts. You also need to close any joint accounts that you may have with your spouse. You can divide equally the savings that were accumulated during the marriage. Be aware of any debts regardless if it was paid or incurred. This includes house repair expenses, credit cards and other bills. Also make a research on the pension plans of your spouse and other savings.

4. Track the financial support that you give to your child. It is recommended that you checks instead of cash to have written proofs that you are doing your responsibility. Maintain the lines of communication with your lawyer. You have to disclose to your attorney all your assets so that he may be able to advise you and prepare any forms that you may need.

5. Getting a divorce is a long process and will take much of your time. This factor may also vary depending on the state you are in. You need to be ready of the fact that divorce includes a long procedure. It would sometimes 6 months to three years for a hearing to begin

6. If you have children, custody plan should be negotiated. There are courts that offer consultation service for free. Child custody including visitation is one issue that needs to be decided.

7. Know the three paths where you may proceed to during the divorce. They are the Litigation, Mediation and Collaboration. Litigation involves two attorneys who prepare all the documents, court hearings and negotiate during the whole divorce process. Both parties communicate only through the lawyers who represent them. The Litigation process is usually expensive and is a lengthy process. Mediation, on the hand, parties work together with a neutral attorney. The attorney does not favor any side. The role of the lawyer is to only make both parties learn each other's needs and expectations. The two parties will then be responsible with the process. They can also hire a separate lawyer to assess the agreement that was made. This procedure has lesser stress and cost. The third path is the Collaboration. With his procedure, the both parties will retain their own lawyers. With this procedure, the lawyers and the couple work together. This will reduce the stress, costs and delay.

8. Seek counseling for emotional help. This will help you be enlightened if it is divorce that you really want or you are just unhappy with the marriage. Counseling and seeking advice is important to regain your happiness. Make sure that you are prepared to face the process of divorce. Sometimes, divorce may be difficult to handle because of some issues causing such decision. You need to be emotionally and spiritually ready to overcome it. You are the one that controls your destiny and therefore should make a wise decision that is based on logical thinking and emotional stability