Goals change. As a child I wanted just one thing - immediate gratification. Whether it was a cookie, a toy or my way, I wanted it right then. I didn't understand the concept of time. There was now and not now and not now caused tantrums. I didn't understand the pleasure of anticipation either. When it comes to cookies, I still don't.



As a teenager I wanted lots of things - to stay out late, to date, to drive. At the same time I didn't want to fall short of what my parents wanted for me. No wonder teenagers have pimples.

As a wife I wanted to be the best life partner - not the best housewife. I'd made my wedding vows to John - not to a building we lived in. A journey of a thousand miles starts with one step - so does the journey to wifehood. Unfortunately, so does the journey to the market, the cleaners and the DMV.

Then came motherhood. I wanted to raise good citizens - men who would make the world a better place - or at least a place where people returned things they borrowed, apologized for mistakes and kept promises. Sometimes I've felt more like Spiderwoman than a mother. No, I haven't wanted to save the world; but occasionally I've wanted an excuse to eat my young.

Each morning when the alarm goes off, my first goal is to turn it off. My next depends on whether I was successful accomplishing the first.

Each night when I go to bed, my last goal is to catch up with the day's news via talk radio. This isn't as easy as it sounds. As soon as my head hits the pillow, I'm asleep. I don't hear anything until the alarm goes off the next morning and it starts all over again. I must need more practice going to bed.

When I practiced making my bed, my grandmother would look at the lumps and bumps and ask me if I'd done my best. When I said yes, she'd tell me my best was good enough. My bedcovers are smoother now, but they still remind me that my best is good enough.

Graduate from school, get a job, make money - get married, make money - have a family, make money - retire, still have some money - it's the American dream. Love doesn't make the world go around. Goals do.