Relationships among generations have been considered within two conceptual frameworks, attachment and reciprocity. "Attachment" refers to the close emotional bond that family members typically use. "Reciprocity" describes the efforts family members make, to balance their giving and taking across the course of their lives. I recently read Joan E. Norris and Joseph A. Tindale's book titled "Among Generations," in which various theories and opinions are being analyzed in an attempt to estimate the level of support exchange inside multigenerational families and the changes that take place among the family's members.
What amazed me the most was the fact that the attachment a family member feels with other members of his or her family, is actually a concept relevant to all relationships, across the life span, not just those between parents and children. The authors suggest that it is likely secure attachments early in life set the stage for successful peer interactions in adulthood. In fact, evidence suggests that adults continue to look for relationships that provide the four characteristics one experiences through attachment in childhood; the need for proximity in times of stress, comfort when together, unease or anxiety when the significant person is not accessible, and a sense of permanence. Moreover, one could support that the perspective on social exchange adopted in this book is based on global reciprocity. This concept fits well within a life-span view of individual and family development, because it considers the biological, social, psychological, and historical context of social support.
The specific book was structured to engage the reader in the story of a maturing couple. The examination begins with the process whereby two individuals make the decision to become a couple. Then the implications that follow from their decision to become parents is being considered, as well as the intergenerational relations that result from that decision. Throughout this process the variable circumstances in which such family processes may be experienced are examined. The analysis conducted by the authors supports the view that parents' offers to help their adult children should not be considered as isolated incidents or unusual events. Rather, they are a part of an ongoing, mutual give-and-take relationship that occurs throughout the family's life-cycle and is revealed by the attachment bonds of love and respect a family experiences.
As the book unfolds a couple's journey through varying and changing relationships, it focuses on this life-span perspective, and presents married couples who stay together long enough to experience parenthood and grand-parenthood, to collect longtime friends and to experience lengthy relationships with extended kin. Furthermore, the differing experiences of single parents and reconstituted families are discussed.
Nevertheless, there are some family forms, such as lesbian parents, for which there was no reference in this book. In addition the cultural, religious and ethnic variations were not discussed to a satisfactory level, since the researched group was formed by well-educated, white, middle-class North Americans. Minorities that reflect diverse ethnic and racial groups have not been considered in this study. Thus, I am afraid to admit that the subject covered remains limited, thereby precluding comprehensive analysis.
Despite this limitation, the conceptual framework employed in this book is likely to have explanatory power across varying family types and situations. Attachment in childhood has been conceptualized as having a strong biological component. Recently, other researchers have argued that adult love is a mature form of attachment that still maintains its evolutionary roots. If this is the case, attachment feelings between spouses, children, and the other significant people in our lives should occur across situations and cultures, although their expression may differ. Clearly, future study should be directed toward such possible differences.
It is also likely that the need and the desire to exchange inter-familiar support transcended cultures and situations. Some researchers have noted that, regardless of ethnic group, older people prefer "intimacy at a distance"-having close and supportive interactions with their children and extended family but still living independently-as a strategy for managing intergenerational relationships. Whether these patterns reflect differences in norms of helping and reciprocity across ethnic and cultural groups is not at all clear. Perhaps practical concerns are more important. Parents' trying to come to grips with adult children refilling the nest is a recurrent theme in popular press. Many other subjects and subcategories may have to be researched and analyzed, before a global or multidimensional outcome could be concluded.
We should keep in mind, after the completion of this analysis, the power and dynamics a family has and transfers to society. All begin and end from within, philosophers have mentioned. Since usually the family environment is the first social interaction a person has, its contribution and influence on the mind and behavior that one creates is of great importance and future research should be directed toward this field.
Marriage And Family Life
As an entrepreneur, your life can be hectic at best. Your business is the realization of a dream. Your hard work and persistence have come to life in the form of your business. Working for yourself is many people's fantasy and it should bring you great satisfaction to know that you now only answer to you. This is all you've ever wanted, so you must be happy.
Ask yourself this: what was your ultimate goal in starting your business? You may respond that you wanted to achieve independence from bosses, to have unlimited income potential or to set your own hours. All of these answers basically mean one thing; you went into business for yourself with the ultimate goal of being happy. But, spending hour upon hour on your business is not going to make for a happy family life. Finding a healthy balance between your business and your family life can be extremely challenging, but it is essential in order to realize your ultimate goal of happiness. How do you find time for family when your business occupies so much of your day. The following are some tips to help you to achieve the ever elusive goal of achieving a healthy balance:
1. Create a schedule. Schedule your work time as well as your family time. Keep a calendar or agenda with this schedule and stick to it. If you are feeling overwhelmed and think that just a bit more work time will help, think again. At the end of a long work day, you are in all probability feeling tired and frustrated. Taking a look at things with fresh eyes the next morning will help you to complete the job properly. Time away from the task will help to rejuvenate you.
2. Prioritize. Your family is your number one priority, and don't forget it. When making your schedule, always plan family time first and include some fun ideas in the schedule. After a long workday, you may be too tired to think of fun things to do, and might just end up in front of the T.V. This is not quality family time. Adding fun items to your schedule in advance will help you to follow through with your plans. Schedule a trip to the park, an evening at the kid's favorite restaurant, or just playing ball in the backyard. Don't forget to schedule some time alone with your spouse. A weekly date night will do wonders for your relationship. Even if it's just enjoying a rented movie and popcorn after the kids are in bed. Anything will do as long as it's not already a part of your normal routine.
3. Be sure to have some time left for yourself. This is often the most difficult time to schedule. How do you find time for yourself with all you already do in the day? On work days, this could be as simple as a 15 minute bubble bath or curling up with a good book before bed. On your days off, take a walk for an hour, or go on a bike ride. Be sure to allow your spouse the same. He or she needs time alone time as well.
4. Make to-do lists. In order to make the most of your workday, make lists and cross things off as you accomplish them. Being a busy entrepreneur, it may sometimes seem as though you don't have enough time in a day to allocate to all the jobs you have to do. You will be amazed at how such a simple thing as making a to-do list will keep you on track. Once you have crossed off most of the tasks on your list you will feel proud of all that you have accomplished in the day. Remember though, if you are not finished your list at the end of your scheduled workday, those leftover tasks will have to go on tomorrow's list.
5. Learn to delegate. You may find it difficult to let go of even some of the smallest tasks. Your business is the realization of your dream. How could you possibly leave any part of it in someone else's hands? If you don't want your business to run your life, you will have to learn to let go of some duties. Start with delegating little tasks and build from there. Once you have built up enough trust in the person you are delegating to, you can start delegating a little more. If you have employees, use them, that is what they are there for. If you don't have the resources to hire an employee, you can still delegate by using contractors, such as Accountants, Bookkeepers and/or Virtual Assistants. All of these will cost you less than an employee and will work from their own offices, so you don't have to provide them with a work space. Delegating will go a long way in allowing you to work more efficiently. It can also give you more time for family. In fact, delegating chores in your house-hold will accomplish the same. Hire a house-keeper to come in once every few weeks, or hire someone to mow your lawn or plow your driveway in the winter. If these are not viable options, get your family to help. The more help you have, the faster the chores get finished and the more time you will have for the fun stuff.
Remember you need to work on your family in order to make it a success just as you do your business. Achieving a healthy balance is not easy, but once you do, the rewards will out-weigh any of the hard work you put into it.
Both Jonathon Hardcastle & Kelly Sims are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.
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