If you are going through hard times in your marriage - or even a separation or divorce - you may be on the hunt for books that teach you the recipe for a happy marriage. Choose wisely: many books can be a waste of your time and money! So, how do you choose the best book among the many on the market today? Well, keep reading!
Below I share with you how to choose the best type of relationship book that has the recipe for a happy marriage. My guidance may surprise you.
1 - Do Not be Fooled by the Author's Fancy Credentials
When you find a book with a fancy cover and impressive-looking credentials printed after the author's name, don't be fooled into assuming that this is the best book for you. There are so many academics out here who choose to let their high-priced studies in an ivory tower replace real-world experience. You may have seen or known highly-paid psychologies or psychiatrists who can rattle off mental disorders or neuroses from memory but who are about as warm as a popsicle. You want to avoid those types.
For some academics who write relationship books, instead of spending their time interacting with people, they just use their time to study. Many of them have not really lived the advice they are offering. Why would you go to someone for advice who has never actually "been there" him or herself? No way! Instead, find a book by an author who has actually lived the experiences you are now going through. Maybe they have had their own marriage go sour, or they have helped countless friends out of similar predicaments. Those are the authors you want to trust.
2 - Avoid Books that Make it "All About You"
A successful relationship requires work from both the husband and the wife - and it requires working together to get through the hard times. However, many relationship books ask you to basically turn inward to work on your inner self while completely distancing yourself from your relationship in the meantime. Where is the sense in that? Of course, to repair a broken or troubled relationship and return to a happy marriage, you do need to come from a place of strength and centeredness. But, that doesn't mean the equivalent of becoming a love hermit. Avoid the books that try to steer you in that direction. Rather, look for a book that will give you new information that you can really use - information that can actually guide you on how to have a happy marriage (not just how to be alone and get in touch with yourself).
3 - Look for a Book that Gives You Real, Hands-On Advice
You need to find a book that will you the nitty-gritty, insider information you need most, such as answers to the questions: what do women want? What do men long for? Not only that, the book needs to tell you how to give them what they really want. You need concrete guidance, such as about how to get over an infidelity or how to relieve your own pain in the face of past heartaches.
4 - Look for Testimonials by Folks Like You
Look at the back covers of most of the books you come across in the relationship genre: you will find raving review after raving review. The only trouble is, the reviews you will find there are written by other so-called "experts" - many of whom are paid for their time and/or are close friends of the author. What do those reviews really amount to? Not much. What you want is reviews and testimonials by other "regular folks" who have successfully used the book to fix their own relationships.
Yes, there are many love or relationship books on the market, but most of them are not worth the paper they are printed on. This is because they are written by ivory-tower academics instead of by someone who has not only been through what you are going through - but someone who has helped hundreds of others with their hard-earned knowledge. So, spend a little bit of time finding the right relationship book using these guidelines and you will find that your money has been well-spent.
Recipe For A Happy Marriage
A recipe for a happy marriage . . . all couples want one. Make your marriage stronger with eHarmony's recipe.
A recipe for a happy marriage that's sure to make your marriage stronger starts with one of the most important ingredients - a shared dream. Research shows that when couples make positive plans, they have more stable, satisfying relationships. Sharing common objectives and setting positive goals - both long-term and short-term - for the future can help keep a couple from taking a wrong turn and getting lost along the way. Be sure to keep these ingredients in mind when preparing your recipe:
Recipe for a Happy Marriage – 1st Ingredient: Desire to Achieve Your Goal
What is your common goal? You and your spouse should decide on this goal together. Both members in the couple need to have a strong mutual taste for a delicious recipe for a happy marriage in the future, so they must really want to reach the goal. Ask yourselves where you want your marriage to be. Write your goal down on paper. This is the time to aim high and think big!
Recipe for a Happy Marriage – 2nd Ingredient: Make a Plan of Action
Now, you have completed the first step as you prepare to make your happy marriage recipe, but how do you reach your goal? Sit with your spouse and list all of the steps you can think of that will get you closer to your goal. Prioritize each step in order of importance. It's okay if you rewrite them. Will it take six months, or ten years? Work with a timeline that feels comfortable for you and your spouse.
Recipe for a Happy Marriage – 3rd Ingredient: Identify Obstacles
The preparations for your happy marriage may not always taste sweet. Brainstorm together on challenges you could encounter as you pursue your dream. Remember, sometimes even everyday life issues can become roadblocks. Then, next to each of these possible setbacks, list sources of support and potential solutions. What people or organizations could you turn to in hard times? The clearer your list, the more flavor you add to your recipe — and the better your chances of overcoming challenges and experiencing a happier marriage.
Recipe for a Happy Marriage – 4th Ingredient: Be Committed
A happy marriage cannot be whipped up in one day. The only way to reach your shared dream is to really pursue it. Setting goals is the first step, but you must be persistent and disciplined - never give up even when you encounter setbacks. Always look at your progress and keep working to improve your recipe.
Recipe for a Happy Marriage – 5th Ingredient: Visualize Your Dream
If it can work for the world's top athletes, it can work for any couple to make their recipe for a happy marriage into a delicious and satisfying treat. Get a clear mental picture of the goal already accomplished. In other words, think of your dream as already reached, and make it a vivid image. Once it's there, play that picture over and over again in your mind.
Working together towards your shared dream gives you both hope for the future. That hope will make it all the easier to plan and work together as a couple toward your goal. As your dreams become real, you'll be able to see the progress it's making. You'll be a couple on your way to living happily ever after, confident that you can make your marriage stronger with a healthy recipe for a happy marriage.
Both Robbie T. James & Eharmony Marriage are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.
Robbie T. James has sinced written about articles on various topics from Poor Credit, Computer Virus and Marriage. Want to learn the best-kept secrets about how to have a happy marriage? Learn sure-fire advice from the same love guru who taught me at:
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