There isn't a mom out there that can't relate to loss of connection they have experienced with their husband once a baby is born. Not only does the focus moves from the couple to the baby, but you and your husband are also tired and possible stressed from all the new changes that having a baby puts on a relationship.



All this can really cause a serious reduction in intimacy between a couple. But guess what? Your marriage does not have to be this way. Once you have recovered from the worst of the sleep deprivation and effects of labor, there are things that you can do to get the spice put back in your love life.

I truly believe that the key to a spicy love life with my husband is fun and spontaneity, even though sometimes that spontaneity needs to be loosely planned when you have children. It should never feel like you have to do it, you should enjoy it and so should your husband. Follow these simple tips below and be prepared for the juices of the relationship to start flowing again.

Tip One:

Start dating again. Make time at least once a week for you and your husband to connect outside of the home in a way that it is just about you and him. Go out to dinner, have a drink together, go for a picnic. It can be short and sweet. If you must take the baby with you, do it at a time you know they will be sleeping. Be sure to talk about things other than your baby. You would be amazed the difference this simple ritual can have on a couple.

Tip Two:

Send sexy text messages to your husband's cell phone or email. This is one of my favorites, and one I do periodically especially if my husband is on a business trip. While baby is napping take a moment and send you hubby a quick little "I want you" note. It doesn't need to be XXX rated, but suggestive and fun. Not only are you sparking his interest but you are letting him know you still want him. As much as you may worry about how desirable you are, he is worrying if you have time for him. So let him know that you are thinking about him!

Tip Three:

Greet him when he comes home from work at the door with a big hug and kiss and smile. You both have had long stressful days, let the first moment the two of you are together be a reminder of why do what you do all day long. You will be amazed at the difference this will make in your evening.

Tip Four:

If you are a couple that likes to play games in the evening to relax put a new twist on them. We all laugh at the idea of strip poker... but have you played it? Strip monopoly, strip Scrabble... well you get the idea, make the new rules and have some fun. This adds excitement and spice to an otherwise "okay" evening.

Tip Five:

Grooming, this may seem like a no brainer, but when you are home taking care of baby all day, getting a shower and combing your hair can be low on the priority list. Brush your teeth and maybe put on a little mascara or lip gloss. You don't have to get made up, but be clean and fresh. Not only will this help make sparks fly, but you will feel better and feel good about yourself, and that my dear is key.

Tip 6:

Wear a cute nightie. Perhaps like the ones that you used to wear before you were a mom. If the ones you have don't fit anymore or if you don't have any go buy at lease one. They don't have to be Victoria Secret or Fredrick's of Hollywood; they just have to be cute and feminine. It's hard to act, or even feel like a siren of desire if you are dressed in flannel or sweats.

If you are just a regular new mom then it is perfectly natural that your libido might have suffered after childbirth. But taking action to create a little cheekiness and fun in your relationship can make the difference between a relationship that fizzles over time and one that grows and remains fun and spicy!