Although it has probably been done for thousands of years, the term surragacy is a more recent term where a woman who cannot have a child enlists the help of another woman to carry a child for her. You and your partner (if you have one) are known as the 'commissioning couple', while the woman who carries and gives birth to your baby is the 'surrogate'. Asking someone else to have a child on your behalf is usually as a last resort but even so, the decision to do this should be thought about carefully. Normally, surrogacy is used if treatment by In Vitro Fertilization has failed or a medical condition prevents the woman from becoming pregnant, or could be dangerous if she did.



It's vital that both parties are fully committed to the arrangement and that you understand the implications of what is involved now and in future years. To help in these initial stages it is a good idea for all parties to sit down and discuss the situation with an experienced counselor. You will also need to get legal advice before starting out. If the procedure is to be carried out at a fertility clinic then all parties including partners on both sides, if there are any, will have to undergo all the normal processes that would be carried out if fertility treatment were being used.

There are two ways of having a baby with a surrogate; you can use sperm from a male partner, if you have one, and the surrogate's eggs. In this case, fertilization is usually done by artificial insemination or by Intrauterine Insemination. The other way is where you use your own eggs and your partner's sperm, or donated eggs inseminated with your partner's sperm. When this method is chosen then In Vitro Fertilization is used but the procedure must be carried out at a licensed clinic.

Trust is vital, not least because you will need to agree on issues like antenatal testing - for example, for Spina Bifida or Down's Syndrome - and decide what you will do if the baby had a congenital problem. A safe pregnancy and birth are also a consideration when choosing the surrogate. This will probably be a stressful time so support from friends and immediate family are very important. Go to a clinic that supports surrogacy and it is also important that the hospital where the baby will be born is understanding.

The law regarding payments to surrogates varies around the world so be sure of what your financial responsibility is before you proceed with this life changing decision.

It doesn't happen often but the surrogate mother might change her mind about handing the baby over to the commissioning couple, even if the baby is not genetically related to her. This is another reason why there must be absolute trust and commitment between all parties right from the start because this could be very painful if it were to happen.