For years I've been teaching the importance of self care - taking a break by doing things just for you. It is a chance to listen to your heart every now and then and give your head a mini-vacation. Whether it be a massage, a yoga class, a walk or five minutes of breathing, I advise that you make self care a priority at least once a week.



But I never really understood the deeper reason why self care was so important. I just know that every time my business has slowed down for no reason or that I begin to feel unconnected to my clients, it is usually because I need to take some time just for me. And voila, I feel like new after I do what my heart wants, even for just five minutes.

We always seem to want something better or something more. Sufi Healer and author, Mark Silver describes how life can sometimes make you feel as though you are trudging through a desert in search of water, just putting one foot in front of another, unsuccessfully looking for an oasis. Have you ever felt that way? I know that I have.

Silver goes onto explain that the perfect place of peace does not exist outside us. When we think we get to that external place, whether it is a new job, a new partner, money or a new house - the oasis as we imagined seems to disappear. A new situation is in its place with new opportunities and new sufferings.

The qualities we are looking for exist internally. What we are often really looking for are qualities such as love, peace, security and safety - and those qualities only exist within us. Call it what you will, universal energy, source, divine, mother nature or your source. But that incredibly quiet and still resting place within us is always the oasis.

By filling ourselves up from the inside, we become better players in life. The best way to feel energetic and satiated is to fill ourselves up with those internal qualities of self love and nourishment and then give of our overflow to others. But often in life we give and give of ourselves until we are completely worn out and depleted, expecting to find what we need externally.

Listen, I've been there myself, working around the clock and serving as many people as I can without taking the time to stop and take care of myself. But thanks to Mark, I now understand the deeper importance of taking time for myself. It is just like in the airplane when they tell you to put the oxygen mask on yourself first and then help the child next to you. Fill yourself up first.

True self care requires a trip to inner haven as you check in with your heart. It forces you to take the time to look within and replenish deep and powerful qualities of love, peace and joy. And in the process you become better suited to take care of your family, your friends, and your career.

And the best part? As you take better care of yourself, you'll become even more attractive, charismatic and magnetic. Soon you'll be in the flow of life, instead of looking for that next oasis.