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Video on Hemorrhoid Creams For Deep Wrinkles: Myth Or Miracle
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Hemorrhoid Creams For Deep Wrinkles: Myth Or Miracle
Naweko San-joyz
my last tube of generic StriVectin-SD® and I hear that hemorrhoid cream works wonders
on wrinkles," says Jennifer.
Since he’s on Medicare Part D, Uncle Howard has a tendency to play stingy with his meds, even
if they are over-the-counter. Before sharing his goods, he wonders, “Why in the world
would you use a hemorrhoid cream on your face?"
“Uncle R", quips Jennifer, “I watched a video on YouTube and this up-and-coming star from Wichita
named Tama-Ra swears that Preparation-H saved her eyes from looking like they had vomited raisons
the day before she auditioned for American Idol."
“Forget that silly stuff darling. All that my tube of Prep-H has is a vasoconstrictor. It
closes up blood vessels. Unlike my rectum, your face needs blood to look young and vibrant. You get
me? My blood doesn’t flow as freely and robustly as it did when Sammy Davis Junior was hip. Ergo, I
look like an ‘Old Farf’ as you call it."
“Old Fart, Uncle H, not ‘Old Farf’, it’s “Old Fart," corrects Jennifer.
“LIke I was saying," continues Uncle Howard, “Preparation-H has a lot of moisturizers
similar to those you’d find in any overpriced wrinkle cream, such as mineral oil, petrolatum, corn oil,
lanolin, thyme oil and shark liver oil."
Looking dazed and a tad annoyed, Jennifer ponders, “Well, what should I do? I don’t want to look
old."
From his pedestal of knowledge, Uncle Howard offers, “I know of two no-nonsense ways to look good:
Take care of yourself and have lots of good, and in your case, protected sex. This way, your blood is
carousing fast and that pale face of yours will rosy up and look plumper than prize winning pig."
After realizing to whom he was talking, Howard proposes, “If you’re looking for a better
way to spend your puny allowance on creams you don’t need, buy something
with retinoids in it. That stuff helps prevent your skin and collagen from degrading like sugar cubes in
rain. So if you don't mind, get out of here. I need to inject myself
with the one of the best wrinkle creams in the world."
References:
The Science behind Wrinkle Erasers. Prevention; August 2007; vol 59, no 8, p 110.
Wyeth Consumer Healthcare.
http://www.preparationh.com/hemorrhoid_medications/ointment/ointment_package_label.asp.
November 12, 2007.
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