The other day, the subject of non-verbal communication came up. It's important to know how your sales pitch, presentation, or just plain conversation is being received by the other party. Not just afterwards, but as you are making it. Sure, there are some obvious signs, body language, facial expression, even breathing (sigh), but there are subtle indicators that may not at first be readily apparent.

Let me give you an example: I have identical twin daughters. And I do mean identical—they have the same eyeglass prescription, they got their first cavity in the same tooth etc. etc. Thing is, they are not the same person. Each has distinct character traits—one is quiet and shy, the other a bit of a tomboy. One likes her pretty outfits, the other preferred coveralls.

During the day, there was never any problem telling one from the other because of their different personalities and preferences. Night time was a different story however, because once they were in their beds and sound asleep, their individual characters no longer played a part and their faces looked exactly the same in repose. One night, they had switched beds and when I went in to check on them before retiring myself, I was completely fooled!

The thing is, during the day, the way they communicated, whether consciously or not, was through their built-in personality traits and it made identifying them, and thus communication with them, much easier. Your clients have built-in traits. Knowing how to read them will help you do business with them.

Both sellers and buyers say a lot with their non-verbal communication: facial expression, body language, gestures, signs, and use of space. How do you accurately interpret the non-verbal signals your prospects are giving? And what are your signals saying to them? In a challenging business climate, a skilled non-verbal communicator has a real edge.

Most people think they are pretty good at reading non-verbal communication. We can accurately interpret body language and facial expression—or can we, especially when we interact with strangers, or where we have a lot on the line emotionally? And how good are we really at sending signals we want our prospects and clients to pick up on?

When it comes to hiding emotions and attitudes most people are not good at matching their body language to their words. So it's easy to get the real message from a customer who politely says, "That's very interesting and we'll be sure to look at it seriously." while she is pushing her chair away from you, crossing her arms and looking out the window.

So what does this mean for you?

Watch yourself in action. Non verbal skills are hard to fake so be aware of what yours are saying.

Make sure you really believe in what you are saying and the correct non-verbal communication will follow naturally.