Police are investigating an incident in a butchers shop in Rotherham Street, Llandudno, following a nasty incident involving a meat slicer. The area is currently cordoned off while evidence is removed for further DNA analysis. According to witnesses in the shop at the time, things got a little out of hand when the butcher got his apron caught up in the machinery and was last heard screaming for someone to 'remove the rump' before profuse amounts of blood left the customers traumatised.

'I'm never shopping there again' said regular customer, Mrs Davies, 'how could I possibly eat meat from that meat slicer knowing that the butchers sausage had been through it before?' Devastated Mrs Davies has been shopping at this butcher shop since 1852 and has never witnessed anything quite so gruesome.

It is expected that health and safety officials will now halt the use of all meat slicers until they can ascertain the full extent of the damage to the said butcher and write a lengthy report on how to slice meat without slicing body parts. The report is expected to contain the following:

Ensure the meat slicer is adequately obvious. Suggested methods of making this so are to paint it red, erect signs, surround it with orange plastic cones and police style warning tape.

Ensure all staff have completed adequate training on an appropriate course (there is one such course available in Northern India several times a year). Training on the use of a meat slicer should be one to one and involve having the Red Cross on standby at all times.

Once the appropriate training has been completed and the meat slicer adequately obvious, all staff that are trained should sign a waiver stating that, in the event of any accident, they will not claim compensation that sees the complete loss of the butchery.

If these recommendations are not followed, it is possible the butchery will then lose the right to operate, or indeed, even own a meat slicer. This could make life difficult for him and he will be back to the early mornings and late nights of the days before meat slicing machinery when all he will be equipped with is a machete style knife and his own free will. If this proves to be just as dangerous then the health and safety people are making noises about using the plastic, round ended cutting implements of playschool to ensure that nobody is in any danger from a meat slicer ever again.

There is concern among the butchers community that health and safety officials are getting too deeply involved and that they could end up stopping all carving of meat in the interests of the butchers sausages. 'This will ruin our livelihood' states another local butcher who has visited the injured party in hospital. 'People may as well shop in the abattoir if we are no longer allowed to cut anything up. Let's see how much fuss there is when people are expected to take a whole pig home and cut it up themselves.'

A petition is currently being located throughout the vicinity to allow common sense to prevail and for all butcheries to be allowed to continue using meat slicers for their convenience and to take into consideration their customers budgets. After all, half a pound of ham is much easier to store and transport than a whole pig.