Low self esteem? What exactly does that mean?? High self esteem? How are they different? Self-image is a compilation of messages we have taken in about ourselves over the span of our lives If the messages are predominantly decent ones, the typical
self-image we have, or more specifically, our sense of esteem for ourselves, is good.
We have a good self-image. If the messages are predominantly bad ones, the average
self-image we have, or more specifically, our sense of esteem we have for ourselves,
is bad.
Self-esteem surfaces out of the zillions of individual "introjects" (inputs we
"inculcate;" that is, take in, own, as real about ourselves, etc. over the
entire span of our lives.) It beginsaccumulating from the first dayand does not ceaseevolving, for better or worse. If you consider the dynamics of this process, believe it or not, both low and high self-esteems are formed in the exact same way. Only the content of our minds vary, which has a crummy effect on our moods.
Initially, individual life events have an enormous impact on our self-esteems. That's
because we are vulnerable, like most children are, and also because there are less other
images in our brains with which to average the new, incoming message. So, one or two
new messages has a greater impact on the average experience we have about ourselves.
At the other end of life, we have zillions of messages already in place, bouncing around inside our heads, most of them neatly catalogued in the back of our awareness. This
creates a "input resistant,", less modifiable databank. In other words, it's harder to change self-image in older people just by putting in new ideas, because there are already too many old ones in place.
I've developed a technique that uses some specific cognitions to change our feelings.
It turns out it's not our thoughts that change self esteem. It's our feelings.
And, feelings can be created by consciously bringing up certain strategic thoughts,
thus changing the feeling (because feelings follow thoughts in adults). You control the
thoughts and your feelings change. You strategically apply the feelings, using the
new feeling that comes in a specific way. It's a combination of two incredible techniques
and they work--far better than the usual superficial techniques offered in the
pop-psychology literature.
It is not significant if your self-esteem has been crummy for a little while or
your whole life. You're not going to try to change the whole ball of wax, just one
thought at a time. I tell you how. It's actually a little backwards from what you might expect. You have to start small and work up, not think big and try to generate a rickle-down effect. The latter fails.
It also doesn't matter if your self-esteem is very, very bad or just a little impaired.
The same technique works equally well for both conditions. But you have to understand the philosophy and techniques behind this breakthrough idea, and for that, you have to read more of what I've written.
Hello, I've been an outpatient psychologist for over twenty years. I've come
across eight psychological conditions that I see every day. Self-esteem is one of them,
and it's one that permeates all the other seven. Improve self-esteem and the others
improve, too. Below are some links to take you to my webpages, where more details are