I was walking   Down the high street   When I heard footsteps behind me   And there was a little old man (hello!)   Scarlet and Gray, chuckling away      Well he trotted   Back to my house   And he sat beside the telly (ahh)   With his tiny hands on his tummy   Chuckling away, laughing all day      i'll have to report you to the gnome office   (gnome office? ahahahah!)      Hah hah hah   Hee hee hee   I'm a laughing gnome and you can't catch me   Hah hah hah   Hee hee hee   I'm a laughing gnome and you can't catch me   Said the laughing gnome      Well I gave him roasted toadstools   And a glass of dandelion wine (*burp* pardon)   Then I put him on a train to Eastbourne   Carried his bags, and gave him a fag (have you got a light boy?)      hey where do you come from?   (gnome-ans land, hehe!)   oh really?      In the morning   When i woke up   He was sitting on the edge of my bed   With his brother who's name was Fred   He brought him along   To sing me a song      alright let's hear it   now, what's that clicking noise?   (that's Fred, he's a metro-gnome, haha)      Hah hah hah   Hee hee hee   I'm a laughing gnome and you can't catch me   Hah hah hah   Hee hee hee   I'm a laughing gnome and you can't catch me      (oh now, i'm a gnome anyway haha)   haven't you got a home to go to?   (no, we are gnome-ads hehe)   didn't they teach you to get your hair cut at school you look like a rolling gnome   (nah, not at the London school of eco-gnome-ics)      Now they're staying   Up me chimney   And we're living on cavier and honey (hurray!)   Cos they're earning me lots of money   Writing comedy prose   For radio shows      it's the errrr   it's the gnome-service of course!      Hah hah hah   Hee hee hee   I'm a laughing gnome and you can't catch me   Hah hah hah   Hee hee hee (oh really)   I'm a laughing gnome and you can't catch me   (one more time!)   Hah hah hah   Hee hee hee   I'm a laughing gnome and you can't catch me