I take a look around   think of places I have been   there really aren't too many   I would like to see again   I've been to 30   8 of 50 states   most of them I'd shut down   3 or 4 of them are great   back on the east coast   dc's a little shit hole    you'll freeze to death in JERSEY   but florida's the best   I think I would rather have    prostate cancer   than visit oklahoma   it's those Sooner's I detest   when I see the coast   I'm at home at last   take the Lincoln Monument   and cram it up your ass   Jesus-MotherFucking-Christ, a giant ball of yarn!   don't forget to see that thing   when you're on your way to Yuma   KOA is A-OK   but they ain't got no Shoney's   I love turquoise   and shells of abalone   testicular tumors   sound so much nicer   than seeing Dollywood   in the hills of tennessee   sentence me to life   in a tijuana prison   I don't really care   feed Dorito's to the bears   fireworks here and there   California is for me   m-i-s-s-i-s-s-i-(FART!)-i!   zillions of mosquitos are   gnawing on my thigh   I really love antiquing   I bought some decoy ducks   in some states your sister   is the only one you fuck   the nascar whores of north carolina   with ovarian cysts   the size of missouri   do yourself and stay in California   bye...bye...bye....goodbye!