The son of god once showed his face   upon my tortilla   since that day, my faith's renewed   he won't let me faulter   he guides me down a golden path   he shields me from sin   without the spirit life's meaningless   I'll go the distance with him   I've been to the point of no return   suggestive poster on my wall   I'd participate in gluttony   greed and wanton lust   I cheated on my S.A.T.'s   once I double parked   if you asked then for a cigarrette   there was a good chance I had one   there was a good chance that I had one   oh yeah, there's a chance that I had one   oh yeah, there's a chance that I had one   yeah. I'd sloth around in my underwears   just watching tv   my former friends they stay out late   they drink and carry on (that's wrong)   they go on dates with party girls   and stay in cheap motels   I stay home and try to better myself   by burning science books   once I tried to masturbate   and finger my own ass   when I marry I'll procreate   hands off myself till then   christmas, easter, they're ok   but the meaning has been lost   remember friend it wasn't santa   oh yeah, it wasn't santa   oh yeah, it wasn't santa   oh yeah. I serve the lord at the telethon   ready to man the phones   for him I'll always vote pro-life   those critics should be bombed   power up's here to lead the flock   lead to salvation (army)   jesus christ superstar   is my favorite song