Well I came into a scolding wife a few short years ago   And ever since I lead a life of misery and woe   My wife she is a tyrant around the ??   Ah I'd sell her to the devil for a glass or two of gin       Sure I'll get up and go to work as mild as any man   And she'll get up and dress herself and go and have her dram   And I chance to say a word it's well I know my due   She'll follow me with the fire shovel up and down the room       [Chorus]   And if the devil'd take her I'd thank him for his pain   I swear to God I'll hang meself if I get married again   And if the devil'd take her I'd thank him for his pain   Though I swear to God I'll hang myself if I get married again       When I get up at breakfast time she'll tap me on the head   When I come home at dinner time I'll find her drunk in bed   When I come home at supper time at patience I must stop   'Cause she drinks what's in the teapot and I must drink the slop       [Chorus]      Well once I asked me scolding wife if I could go to bed   She scare gave me an hour on the pillow to lay me head   When like a roarin' lion she came bustin' down the door   She caught me by the middle and threw me naked on the floor       [Chorus]      Now me and my companions go to a public place   She'll search around the neighbourhood until she finds my face   She'll hoist me up in ridicule before the company   Sayin' 'Petticoats is your master and forever more shall be'       [Chorus (3x)]