My life's in jeopardy   Murdered in cold blood is what I'm gonna be   I ain't been home since Friday night   And now my wife is coming after me      Give me police protection   Gonna buy a gun so   I can look after number one   Give me a bodyguard   A back belt Judo expert with a machine gun      Gonna buy a tank and an aeroplane   When she catches up with me   Won't be no time to explain   She thinks I've been with another woman   And that's enough to send her half insane   Gonna buy a fast car   Put on my lead boots   And take a long, long drive   I may end up spending all my money   But I'll still be alive      All I did was have a bit too much to drink   And I picked the wrong precinct   Got picked up by the law   And now I ain't got time to think      Gonna buy a tank and an aeroplane   When she catches up with me   Won't be no time to explain   She thinks I've been with another woman   And that's enough to send her half insane   Gonna buy a fast car   Put on my lead boots   And take a long, long drive   I may end up spending all my money   But I'll still be alive      And I'm oh so tired of running   Gonna lay down on the floor   I gotta rest some time so   I can get to run some more      She's comin'!   She's comin'!