When was the last time you felt so happy   You had to give yourself a good pinch   When did you ever fail one of life's highs   Without using stepladder or winch      That's why the lifeless crave the past   'Cause when they're flogged, stoned, lynched   They can watch the living fizzle out to naught   Without even moving one inch      That's what keeps you alive   The thought of undeserved death   That's why cynics deep-sea dive   Just to watch someone healthy lose breath      That's what really makes you tick   When the fearless are stopped in their tracks   Optimism looks up counts the stars   Pessimism looks down and counts cracks      The Monday morning moaners club   That meet every week on park bench   At least they've earned their grumble stripes   When they fought tooth and nail in the trench      If you ever sat down in one place too long   They'd need a fork-lift truck and a wrench   Indecision drip feeds modesty   But apathy fails even to quench      That's what keeps you alive   The thought of undeserved death   That's why cynics deep-sea dive   Just to watch someone healthy lose breath      That's what really makes you tick   When the fearless are stopped in their tracks   Optimism looks up counts the stars   Pessimism looks down and counts cracks      And even when it's every man for himself   You still like to stick with the bunch   You'd rather tag along at the back of the crowd   To risk anything on a hunch      That's what keeps you alive   The thought of undeserved death   That's why cynics deep-sea dive   Just to watch someone healthy lose breath      That's what really makes you tick   When the fearless are stopped in their tracks   Optimism looks up counts the stars   Pessimism looks down and counts cracks      That's what keeps you alive