Your fight them on the beaches   Speeches make me despair   'Cause if there's one thing we can guarantee   Is you will not he there      Tidying your room   Making up your bed   And if your diary's full that week   You'll send us lot instead      Send us lot instead   Put a poppy by my lovers bed   We believe you when you say   You've hurt your back      Have you ever been away   Where were you when we took Calais?   I don't know, I don't care   I'm just glad that I wasn't there   You don't know, you don't care   You're just glad that you wasn't there      I don't know, I don't care   (Have you ever been away?)   I'm just glad that I wasn't there      I'm afraid your Rule Britannia mania   Doesn't ring so true   If I was captain of the waves   I'd turn the gun on you      Any last requests   Before you join dead?   I'll crap into your Union Jack   And wrap it 'round your head      Wrap it 'round your head   Take a look at all the blood we've shed   We'll believe you when you say   It was worth it      Have you ever been away   Where were you when we took Calais?   I don't know, I don't care   I'm just glad that I wasn't there   You don't know, you don't care   You're just glad that you wasn't there      I don't know, I don't care   (Have you ever been away?)   I'm just glad that I wasn't there      Liberate the streets of Europe   Give our kids a chance   Give them Beaujolais by tap   And cheap day trips to France      But you have never seen or smelt   This ungodly death   It's like the stench of roasted lamb   Upon your father's breath      I don't know, I don't care   I'm just glad that I wasn't there   You don't know, you don't care   You're just glad that you wasn't there      I don't know, I don't care   (Have you ever been away?)   I'm just glad that I wasn't there   I don't know, I don't care   (Have you ever been away?)   I'm just glad that I wasn't there      I don't know, I don't care   I'm just glad that I wasn't there   I don't know, I don't care   I'm just glad that I wasn't there      I don't know, I don't care   I'm just glad that I wasn't there   I don't know, I don't care   I'm just glad that      You don't know, you don't care   You're just glad that you wasn't there   I don't know, I don't care   I'm just glad that I wasn't there      You don't know, you don't care   You're just glad that you wasn't there   I don't know, I don't care   I'm just glad that I wasn't there