Dipping into his Filofax   He wonders who he can buy next   "C'mon, Play the game the Maxwell way   And you'll never lose, come what may"   There'll be the Maxwell League   And the Maxwell Cup   The Maxwell Trophy   For Maxwell clubs   Maxwell United and Maxwell Town   Who only play at Maxwell grounds   If you believe what the Mirror says   You'd think that Maxwell's trying to save the game   "Mirror, Mirror, on the wall   Who's the biggest liar of all?"   There'll be the Maxwell League   And the Maxwell Cup   The Maxwell Trophy   For Maxwell clubs   Maxwell United and Maxwell Town   Who only play at Maxwell grounds   Mister, can we have our football back?