Black teared desolation with my head held in my hands   Broken heart inside my chest, a sadness in my pants   Calmly contemplating kissing this cruel world goodbye   When I felt a certain reassuring hand upon my thigh   He said "How ya doing mate"   I can tell you're feeling blue   I'm gonna help you out coz I know I was once like you   Said I've suffered bleak emotions friend   you've got nothing to fear   Strapping up my arm as he whispered in my ear   You need some relaxation, some rest and recuperation   For fixing up the aching without love   You need someone to understand,   touch your heart and hold your hand   You need a friend, and a lot of drugs   "Now you're feeling better,   could you do something for me?   Tape this package to your leg, make a delivery   Swallow these balloons and get on the next flight   Try not to use the toilet till you reach the other side"   And customs love, for all the things that   I've been dreaming of a friendly hug, and a rubber glove   And a little bit of cash for the Indonesian judge