Slick Nick stole the reindeer from the zoo   Fell down my chimney with a keg of brew   Put my dog out in the cold   Ripped off the candy from my socks   Smokin' cloves and drinkin' Scotch      Slick Nick you devil you   (Devil you, devil you)   Slick Nick you devil you   (Devil you, devil you)      Dressed in red and overweight boot   Stole the TV and the stereo   And the toys   The toys were broken too      You devil you   (Devil you, devil you)   Slick Nick, Nick you devil you   (Devil you, devil you, devil you)      I saw Slick Nick fall over the X-mas tree   He was a whole different man from what mom and dad told me   Spillin' Jack Daniels all over the drapes   Spray-paintin' a bad finger over the fireplace   Tattoos on his arms and knees   I never thought Santa Claus would be such a sleaze but      Slick Nick you devil you, you devil you   (Devil you, devil you)   You just a devil you, you just a devil you   You just a devil, devil, devil, devil      Cussin' and coppin' and playin' punk-rock   And every once in a while you'd just scratch your jock   Hey, Slick Nick, where are my toys ?   You went drinkin' with the boys   You put Mad Dog in my sock, I wanted candy   I wanted candy, I wanted candy      Oh, oh, I thought you were my buddy and chum   But you're just a downtown bum   Instead of puttin' presents in front of my eyes   You just told me a bunch of lies      Oh, Slick Nick, devil you   (Devil you, devil you, devil you, ooh)   Oh, Santa Claus   (Devil you, devil you, devil you)   (Devil you, devil you, devil you, ooh)