Frank zappa (guitar, vocals)   George duke (keyboards, vocals)   Bruce fowler (trombone)   Tom fowler (bass)   Chester thompson (drums)      The adventures of greggery peccary!      Oh, here comes greggery,   Little grecgery peccary   The nocturnal gregarious   Wild swine      A peccary   Is a little pig   With a white collar   That usually hangs around   Between texas and paraguay   Sometimes ranging as far   West as catalina      Catalina, catalina, catalina!      This particular peccary   Is part of that bold (bold),   New (new) breed (breeding)   That extinguishes itself   By markings which resemble a   Wide tie   Directly below the   White collar      If it's white enough   Everyone will know   That the tie I'm wearing   Is a symbol   Of how nimble mv mind will know   Ooh-ooh!      (swine suave!)      Look out!   Here he comes again!      Oh here comes greggery peccary.   Yes it's cravv, cravy, veah...      Every morning, greggery drives   His little red volkswagen to the ugly   Part of town where they keep the government buildings.      Voodn, voodn!   Boy it's so hard to find a place to park around here!   Greggery peccary takes the elevator   Up to the eighty-third floor of a grim,   Gray, evil-looking building   With a sign on the front reading:   'big swifty associates. trend-mongers'.      And what, might you ask, is a trend monger?    Well, a trend monger is a person   Who dreams up a trend   (like 'the twist' --- or 'flower power'),   And spreads it throughout the land,   Using all the frightening little skills   That science has made available!      And so it was, one fateful morning,   Greggery peccary made his way through the steno pool . . .      Hi mildred!   Hello gladys!   Wanda!      Yes, from the moment they laid   Eyes on him,   All the girls in the big swifty   Steno pool   Knew . . .   Here was a   Nocturnal,   Gregarious   Wild swine   On his way up!   A peccary of destiny,   Adventure   And   Romance!      Is there any mail for me?       Swifty's!   This is big swifty's!   At big swifty's we all know-ow-ow   You'll go   For any gimmick or gizmo!      Wouldn't you rather be involved   In a series of colorful   Time-wastinc trends?       Air hockey . . . biff . . . dush-h-h!      La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la, youp youp youp youp      Is your wife snoring by the sink?       La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la, youp youp youp youp      Ain't your life boring, don'tcha think?       Youp youp youp youp youp youp youp   Life is so much better   When there's some little something   To do!      Does it matter that this waste of time   Is what makes a life for you? hmmmmm?       I must plummet boldly   Forward   To my ultra-avant   Laminated,   Simulated   Replica-mahogany desk,   With the strategically-placed,   Imported, very hip water pipe,   And the latest edition of the   Whole earth catalog,   And rack my agile mind   For a spectacular   New trend,   Thereby rejuvenating our limping   Economy,   And providing   For bored & miserable people   Everywhere   Some great new   'thing'   To identify with.!      We have got the little answers   To the things   That might` be bothering you!      We have got your little toys!   (we're busy makin' 'em!)      Busy makin' 'em,   We're busy makin' 'em,   Busy makin' 'em   Just for you!      Yoo-hoo-hoo!   Very efficient. miss snodgrass!      And with that.   Gregcery turned   And strode nonchalantly   Into his dinky little office   With the desk and the catalog   And the very hip water pipe.   And proceeded,   With a vigor and determination   Known only to piglets   Of a similarly diminutive   Proportion,   To single-handedly invent   The calendar!   With his eye rolled heaven-ward.   And his little shiny pig-hoofs on the   Desk, greggery ponders the   Question of eternity (and fractional   Divisions thereof), as mysterious   Angelic voices sing to him from a   Great distance, providing the   Necessary clues for the construction of   This thrilling new trend!      Sunday      Sunday?    Wow!   Sunday,   'monday      Sunday,      Saturday. . .tuesday through   - monday'!      Saturday. . .      And thus the calendar,   In all of it's colorful disguises   Was presented to   The bored & miserable people   Everywhere!      Gregcery issued a memo on it.   Whereupon the entire contents   Of the steno pool   Identified with it strenuously,   And worshipped it as a way of life,   And took their little pills by it.   And went back 'n forth from   Work by it.   And paid their rent by it,   And before long they were even   Having   Birthday parties in the office   By it,   Because now. at last,   Crecgery peccary's exciting new      Invention   Had made it possible   For everyone   To find out   How old they were!      What hath God wrought?       Unfortunately,   There were some people   Who simply did not wish to   Know,   And that's why,   On his way home from the office   One night,   Greggery was attacked   By a rage of hunchmen!   Making his way through the   Evening traffic, greggery notices   That the other vehicles which   Crowd and bump his little red car   Are all inhabited by slowly-aging   'very hip young people',   They appear to be casting   Sinister glances toward him   Through their glinting acid burn-   Out eyeballs, trying to run him   Off the road, or make him bump into   Something, giving strong evidence   Of hostile aggression!      To elude them, greggery takes the   Short forest exit off the express-   Way. they zoom after him in all   Manner of cars. trucks,   Garishly-painted buses, and   Motorcycles.      Greggery takes a bumpy trail   Off the main short forest road,   Which leads him up the side   Of a famous (and convenientlv   Placed) mountain, and into a strange   Cave on the edge of a cliff, not far   From a little twisted tree. . .with   Eyes on it.      Meanwhile, the enraged hunchmen   (and hunch-'women) rumble   Through the short forest until   (realizing the little swine has   Escaped, they decide to park their   Steaming vehicles in a circular   Pseudo-wagon train formation. . .      And have a love-in!      Under the influence of a fantastic   Amount of trendy chemical amusement   Aid, they proceed to perform lewd   Acts, rip each other off for small   Personal possessions, and dance   With depraved abandon in the vicinity   Of a six-foot pile of transistor radios   Each one tuned to a different station).      What?       The hunchmen finally expire   From exhaustion,   And greggery,   Who has viewed the proceedings   From a safe distance,   Breathes a sigh of relief. . .      Phew!   Only to be terrified once again   By a roar of immense laughter. . .      Ho! ho! ho!      Which seems to be rumbling up   From the very depths of the cave   In which he has hidden his car!      (good lord! what was that!? )      Grecgery doesn't realize   He has concealed himself   Inside the very mouth of   Billy the mountain!      Ho! ho! ho!      And, as you all know,   Whenever billy laughs,   Rocks and boulders hack up,   And the air for miles around   Is filled with tons of dust,   Forming a series of huge   Brown clouds!      Who is making those new brown clouds?    Who is making those clouds these days?    Ho is making those new brown clouds?    Better ask a philostopher 'n see what he says!      Greggery stops at a gas station   And makes a mysterious phone      Is this the old loft   With the paint peelin' off it   By the chinese police   Here the dogs roll by?       Is this here they keep   The philostophers now,   With the rugs & the dust,   Where the books go to die?       How many yez got?    Say yez got quite a few,   Just sittin' around there   With nothin' to do?       Well I just called yez up   'cause I wanted to see   A pilostoper be of assistance   To me!   Gregcery receives information   That   'the greatest livin philostopher   Knon to mankind'   Is currently in possession of the   Very information   In question,   And, furthermore, this information   Could be his,   If only greggery would attend a   'special therapeutic group   Assembly'   (classes now forming),   And available at a special   Low introductory fee. . .   And now, here he is,   'the greatest living philosto-   Pher known to mankind',   Quentin robert denameland!   Take it away!      "folks,   As vou can see for yourself.   The way this clock over here   Is behaving,   Time is of affliction!   Now this might be cause for alarm   Among a portion of you, as,   From a certain experience,   I tend to proclaim:   'the eons are closing'!"      Make your checks payable to      -25.8-      'quentin robert denameland,   Greatest livin philostopher   Known to mankind'!      Who is making those new brown clouds?    Who is making those clouds these days?    Who is making those new brown clouds?    If you ask a pilostopher, he'll see   That you pays!