I've never been able to stand on a table   Without using both of my feet   I've always resisted the choice that was listed   Whenever I sat down to eat      Don't think me rude but that dress is so low cut   Your navel is sticking out   And not that I'm curious but seeing how low yours is   I wonder where mine is about      I read in the newspapers only today   That tomorrow's will be even better   Liquid detergent is now guaranteed   To absorb all the dirt from your sweater      Or so they say, or so they say   Or so they say      We once had a neighbor who came from Jamaica   No, she came of her own accord   Who talked with an accent like that of a Dachshund   Whose cousin the Queen had adored      How would you like it if I was invited   To Lords on the first day of play?   I'm no Gary Sobers but I can bowl overs   In quite an unorthodox way      Now cricket's a game that can baffle us all   It's the silly mid-on that gets me   Silly or not, it's enthralling to watch   Only maidens of course disagree      Or so they say, or so they say   Or so they say      Life is so often a dullish affair   It's no wonder that crime has increased   What does it matter, if there's no hereafter   We're here after all just to breathe      Or so they say, or so they say   Or so they say      Or so they say, or so they say   Or so they say      And as I finish playing   This is my way of saying   The end