Did anybody notice, over marmalade and eggs    In between the Princess' legs    What with wars and floods and beggars    Not to mention stocks and shares    If you have a moment to spare    Can you write and reassure me that I have seen    They're constructing a time machine    There will be no need for the obituary pages    We can have any hero from the bygone ages    'Til the truth emerges, the argument rages       The major and the minor    Turn from tallow into tar    Should we leave them in their place?    Down in damnation's cellar       When any form of deity that you might enjoy    Can be conjured with a test-tube and a flame    If it's out there then science can explain it    Or at least remove the blame    And if theres is anyone you'd like to see again    The speak up quickly       Send us back Da Vinci then we don't have to ponder    The maddening smile of "La Giaconda"    The critics say Nijinsky, the dancer, of course    While the punters would probably prefer the horse    You'll find it's quicker than history, cheaper than divorce       The major and the minor    Turn from tallow into tar    Should we leave them in their place?    Down in damnation's cellar       Bring back Liberace or Ollie and Stan    Shakespeare will have to wait his turn    Elvis Presley and Puccini shall return    I suppose we live and learn, though it's hard to believe as we    cheerfully burn    It's curious    Some will call for justice.    There are murders to solve    What about Hitler? Or at least Lee Harvey Oswald    Give us this day and everything we squander    Anyone beautiful    Somebody blonder    They'll never please mankind, so lie back and enjoy it    Stop press: They've just decided to destroy it       The major and the minor    Turn from tallow into tar    Should we leave them in their place?    Down in damnation's cellar