The functional member of society   Fixes dysfunctions   Fixed my car   Fixed my art   Fixed the price   Fixed my vice   Made me a functional member of society      Make me function, so functional      The functional member of sobriety   Fixed me a drink   A shot of methadone   So I won't think   A low tar cigarette   To cut down the threat   Of making me    A functional member of sobriety      Mr. Function, what's your gumption   Spreading the word of conditioned corruption   Mr. Function, a revolution is beginning to form   At the D.C. junction      The functional member of hilarity    Is on the TV   Now I can sit at home   And be told how to be   How to wear my coat   How to righteously vote   Ain't gonna be a functional member   Of hilarity      Nobody gonna pull me down   Nobody gonna push me around   Nobody gonna push me