ROD:   Oh, I...   wish you could meet my girlfriend   My girlfriend who lives in Canada   She couldn't be sweeter   I wish you could meet her   My girlfriend who lives in Canada      Her name is Alberta   she lives in Vancouver   She cooks like my mother   and sucks like a Hoover      I e-mail her every single day   just to make sure that everything's okay   It's a pity she lives so far away   in Canada      Last...   week she was here but she had the flu   Too bad...   'cause I wanted to introduce her to you   It's so sad...   there wasn't a thing that she could do   But stay in bed...   with her legs up over her head      OH!      I wish you could meet my girlfriend   But you can't because she is in Canada   I love her   I miss her    I can't wait to kiss her!   So soon I'll be off to Alberta...   I mean, Vancouver...      Shit!    Her name is Alberta    she lives in Vancouver      She's my girlfriend!   My wonderful girlfriend!   Yes I have a girlfriend who lives in Canada!!      And I can't wait to eat her pussy again!!!