Join Alpha Beta Pi where the fun never ends   For 300 bucks a quarter you can buy your friends   You want to join to our prestigious brotherhood you got it   Your first job will be to clean up our vomit      It’s hazing time what to do? Hey I got it    How about something homoerotic   And if you pass out, on your face we’ll draw a dick   Give each other high fives and urinate in public      And our house is full of trash and sleaze   Fall asleep on the floor and you’ll get a disease   But our respect for diversity gives us pride   We’re the only frat on campus with 2 black guys      Lots of drugs and really cheap beer   Which we drink until we can’t see clear   And if we get bored we’ll do each other in the rear   We’re frat guys      Stay up all night having big parties   Where people wait 20 minutes in line to get a drink   And laugh when the clock says 4:20   We’re frat guys      Say hi to Big Mike he’s really great   He doesn’t like to bathe and 50 lbs overweight   He drinks too much getting loud and obnoxious   Did you go to class Mike? Naw, I was unconscious      Some of the frat guys are getting upset   Because of their lack of heterosexual sex   That’s because of Brother Jim, Girls are all over his nuts   Isn’t he suspected of rape? Ya but he has a really nice butt      As for our President, he’s as cool as they come   When he graduates he plans on moving back with his mom   Thanks to the lessons he learned at Alpha Beta Pi   He’ll be the coolest guy in the welfare line      Act real tough and get in fights   And whistle at girls when they walk by   We’re one step behind the evolutionary line   We’re frat guys      There’s an old fraternity saying that goes   Stop chasing a girl if they say so   But if their passed out they can’t say no   We’re frat guys