Phlegm lapels for the last time   Corn beef legs for the last time   Oh, we're so glad that you've finally decided      But then you see someone new and you want someone new   So you have someone new, I don't blame you   We would all do the same as you if ever we had the nerve to      Chips with cream for the last time   The People's Friend for the last time   Oh, we're so glad that you've finally decided      Tiny striped socks for the last time   Pokes and prods for the last time   And the doctor said, "Don't nod your head until June"      But then you see someone new and you want someone new   So you have someone new, I don't blame you   We would all do the same as you if ever we had the chance to      Sick at noon for the last time and who is gonna clean up?   Would you be so kind? Oh, everybody's staring   At the strange clothes that you're wearing      Bad advice for the last time   And people being nice for the very first time   Oh, we're so glad that you have finally decided