Satan gave me a taco and it made me really sick   The chicken was all raw and the grease was mighty thick   The rice was all rancid and the beans were so hard   I was gettin' kinda dizzy eatin' all the lard   There was aphids on the lettuce an' I ate every one   An' after I was done the salsa melted off my tongue   Pieces of tortilla got stuck in my throat   An' the stains on my clothes burned a hole through my coat   My stomach was a-tremblin' and I broke out in a rash   I was so dry and thirsty and I didn't have no cash   So I went and found a hose, tore off all my clothes   Turned on the water and shat ran up my nose   Some old lady came along and she thought I was a freak   So she beat me with a handbag till I could hardly speak   I was lying there naked, my body badly bruised   In a pool of my own blood, unconscious and confused   Well, the cops came and got me and threw me in their van   And I woke up on the ceiling and I couldn't find my hand   They took me to the judge, his eyes a-glowin' red   The courtroom was filled with witches and the dead   Well, the sheriff was a hellhound with fangs and claws   The prisoners were tied up and chained to the walls   The air was gettin' thick; the smoke was gettin' thicker   The judge read the verdict: said, "Cut off his head!"   Well, they placed me on the altar, and they raised up the axe   My head was about to explode when I noticed the Marshall stacks   I noticed all the smoke machines, cameras and the lights   Some guy with a microphone, runnin' around dancin' in tights   And I noticed the crew and the band playin' down below   And I realized I was in a rock video      So I went and joined the band   And I went out on tour   And I smoked a lot of heroin   And I passed out in manure   I made out with the groupies   Come on here   Started fires backstage   Oh, yeah, started 'em all   Made a lot of money   Oh, yeah, I'm makin' it   And I gave it all away   Give it all to me   Well, the band got killed   Ah, bunch of losers   So I started a solo career   Aha, yeah   And I won all the awards   Get 'em all now   And I drank all the beer   Drink it all up; get funky   I opened up a taco stand   Aha   Just to smell the smell   Oho   Cookin' with the devil   fryin' down in hell