When you're too old for the swings   You tend to choose the slide   And they never seem to warn you   The slide's your final ride   And when you're at the top of it   And you cannot see the end   Either don't let go son - Or grab the nearest friend   The slide is no respecter of dignity or class   As soon as you sit down on it   That slide has got your ass      Don't take the slide, don't take the slide   Heroes and villains have tried and cried   A broken soul at the bottom lies denied   Don't take the slide, don't take the slide      When the slide was invented   A thousand drinkers sighed   They thought they had the copyright   On the very word the slide   It's a picture of innocence   On which the innocent have fried   Take the helter skelter son   It's easier than the slide   Advice to listening parents   Or the father of the bride   Let them marry anyone   But don't let her take the slide      Don't take the slide, don't take the slide   Heroes and villains have tried and cried   A broken soul at the bottom lies denied   Don't take the slide, don't take the slide      It'll take you much much lower   Than you ever would have asked   'Cause as soon as you sit down on it   The slide has got your ass - It's customers are fools   And every one of them deceased   The long and silver murderer   The devil must have greased      Don't take the slide, don't take the slide   Heroes and villains have tried and cried   A pile of broken souls at the bottom it denied   Don't take the slide, don't take the slide      Don't take the slide, don't take the slide   Heroes and villains have tried and cried   A broken soul at the bottom it denied   Don't take the slide, don't take the slide