This is the Awards for Industry and Free Enterprise    So let me sit you down and tell you how I won first prize    I took on your free enterprise and your pretty little shops    Walked in with empty bags and walked out with the lot       So I've come for my award, I've come for my award    I thought I'd come in person that's the least I can afford    Let hands be shook    Champagne poured    Sentence ignored    Yes. I've come for my award       This is the Awards for Industry and Free Enterprise    Anyone want a gold watch in a ladies' size?    There's a few more round the back    I stole them from your shop    We've got no more in silver, that's all that you'd got       So I've come for my award, I've come for my award    I thought I'd come in person that's the least I can afford    Let hands be shook    Champagne poured    Sentence ignored    Yes. I've come for my award       I chatted with your guards and winked at roving eye    A thousand hidden cameras were searching cross the sky    But they didn't see me pinch them from underneath their eyes       So I've come for my award, I've come for my award    I thought I'd come in person that's the least I can afford    Let hands be shook    Champagne poured    Sentence ignored    Yes. I've come for my award    Jesus was my greatest accomplice    Jesus was my greatest accomplice    Jesus was my greatest accomplice    Yes, I've come for my award       Hairdryer, overcoat, telly, dot-to-dot    Video, compact disc, there's nothing we forgot    Whilst I was busy smiling my father got the lot    I've come for my Award