TIGER, IMITATING KRUPKE  Hey you!  RIFF  Who me, Officer Krupke?  TIGER, IMITATING KRUPKE  Yeah you, gimme one good reason for not draggin' ya down the station house, ya punk!  RIFF  Dear kindly Sergeant Krupke  You gotta understand  It's just our bringin' upke  That gets us out of hand  Our mothers all are junkies  Our fathers all are drunks  Golly Moses, natcherly we're punks  JETS  Gee, Officer Krupke  We're very upset  We never had the love  That every child oughta get  We ain't no deliquents  We're misunderstood  Deep down inside us there is good  RIFF  There is good!  JETS  There is good, there is good  There is untapped good  Like inside, the worst of us is good  TIGER, IMITATING KRUPKE  That's a touching good story  RIFF  Lemme tell it to the world!  TIGER, IMITATING KRUPKE  Just tell it to the judge  RIFF  Dear kindly Judge, your Honour  My parents treat me rough  With all their marijuana  They won't give me a puff  They didn't wanna have me  But somehow I was had  Leapin' lizards, that's why I'm so bad  SNOWBOY IMITATING JUDGE  Right! Officer Krupke  You're really a square  This boy don't need a judge  He needs an analyst's care  It's just his neurosis  That oughta be curbed  He's psychologically disturbed  RIFF  I'm disturbed  JETS  We're disturbed, we're disturbed  We're the most disturbed  Like we're psychologically disturbed  SNOWBOY IMITATING JUDGE  Hear ye, hear ye. In the opinion of this court, this child is depraved on account he ain't had a normal home.  RIFF  Hey, I'm depraved on account I'm deprived!  SNOWBOY IMITATING JUDGE  So take him to a headshrinker. You!  ACTION  Who me?  RIFF  My daddy beats my mommy  My mommy clubbers me  My grand'pa is a commie  My grand'ma pushes tea  My sisters wears a moustache  My brother wears a dress  Goodness gracious, that's why I'm a mess  ACTION IMITATING HEADSHRINKER  Yes, Officer Krupke  He shouldn't be here  This boy don't need a couch  He needs a usefully career  Society's played him a terrible trick  And sociologically he's sick  RIFF  I am sick!  JETS  We are sick, we are sick  We are sick sick sick  Like we're sociologically sick  ACTION IMITATING HEADSHRINKER  In my opinion, this child does not need to have his head shrunk at all. Juvenile delinquency is purely a social disease.  RIFF  Hey, I got a social disease!  ACTION IMITATING HEADSHRINKER  So take him to a social worker  RIFF  Dear kindly social worker  They tell me get a job  Like be a soda jerker  Which means I'd be a slob  It's not I'm antisocial  I'm only anti-work  Glory Osky, that's why I'm a jerk  A-RAB  Eek, Officer Krupke  You've done it again  This boy don't need a job  He needs a year in the pen  It ain't just a question of misunderstood  Deep down inside he's no good  RIFF  I'm no good  JETS  We're no good, we're no good  We're no earthly good  Like the best of us is no damn good  The trouble is he's lazy  The trouble is he drinks  The trouble is he's crazy  The trouble is he stinks  The trouble is he's growing  The trouble is he's grown  Krupke, we've got troubles of our own  Officer Krupke  We're down on our knees  RIFF  'Cause no one wants a fella  With a social disease  JETS  Dear Officer Krupke  What are we to do?  Gee, Officer Krupke  Krup you!