written by Warren Zevon and Carl Hiaasen  1995 Zevon Music BMI  Got a Glock in the bedside table  Machine gun leaning by the bedroom door  Kevlar vest in the closet  Well, I wear it when I go to the store  Shadows on the window  Rustling in the hedge  Faces at the peephole  Footsteps on the ledge  If you come calling  He'll be mauling with intent to maim  Don't knock on my door  If you don't know my Rottweiler's name  Halogen lights in the driveway  Guardian Angels living next door  One hundred pounds of unfriendly persuasion  Sleeping on the Florida porch  Slackers in the market  Bangers in the mall  Skinheads on the golf course  Hunting for their balls  If you come calling  He'll be mauling with intent to maim  Don't knock on my door  If you don't know my Rottweiler's name  Well, he's dreaming about an intruder or two  And the promise of burglar blood  He's yearning to chew on a gangster tattoo  And to hear the proverbial sickening thud  Shadows on the window  Rustling in the hedge  Faces at the peephole  Footsteps on the ledge  If you come calling  He'll be mauling with intent to maim  Don't knock on my door  If you don't know my Rottweiler's name