(Tom Meltzer)     My girl's like a wading pool, she's shallow and full of piss  And I should have left a long time ago but the girl knows how to kiss  I guess that makes me shallow too  But I can't change, what's the use?  I'm a product of dysfunction and I guess that's my excuse  I used to think I was just a bum searching for eternal slack  Pride, intelligence, motivation: there was nothing that I did not lack  But then I went to see a doctor and he showed me what was what  He helped me remember a terrible childhood I had plum forgot  Well my daddy used to wear a hockey mask   He chased high school girls at night  My mama used to beat me with a hanger   If the clothes weren't hung up right  If all this sounds familiar you should see my doctor too  I bet he can convince you the same thing happened to you  My baby and I we live on the fly   We take it day by day  We're unemployed and we're all annoyed  Cause our line of work don't pay  But since baby went to see the doctor things have started looking good  We got an agent, he gets us on all the talk shows  We're moving out to Hollywood  Cause her daddy used to make her play Russian Roulette  He locked her in a bamboo cage  Whenever her mom heard NIAGRA FALLS  She flew into a rage  If all this sounds familiar you should see my doctor too  I bet he can convince you the same thing happened to you