Mother phoned up last night she was going spare   She was in a temper pulling out her hair   "Your sisters brought in this scruffy looking head   Father dont give a monkeys this is what he said"      (Chorus)   I dont care I dont care I dont care if he comes round here   I got my beer and a sideboard here let mother sort it out    if he comes round here      I said to me mother let me have a talk to dad   so he comes to the telephone he wasnt half mad   says "shes got no sense the silly little cow   and if he comes round here theres gonna be a row"      Repeat chorus      "I'll tell you something else an' all he's never got a job   he hangs around the betting shop the lazy little yob"   mother says "calm down dad hes alright   there out there snogging in the passage all night"      Repeat chorus      Biggy was a tramp with stubble on his chin   he looks like something that the cats brought in   never got no money smokes all my fags   got holes in his soles and his hanging in rags      On top of that he says i tell you why i got the hump   she had a skinny little belly now its sticking out the front   theres nothing seems to fit her shes a running out of clothes   if he thinks he takes a liberties i'll punch him on the nose      Chorus      piano solo      twin vocal chorus      chorus repeat to fade