Snooker loopy nuts are we   Me and him and them and me   We'll show you what we can do    With a load of balls and a snooker cue      Pot the reds then, screw back   For the yellow green brown blue pink and black   Snooker loopy nuts are we   We're all snooker loopy      Now ol' Milo as we all know's   Got loadsa dappa suits   London bred and he keeps his head   'Though he's got Italian roots   Emotional but he keeps his cool   'Til he reaches the finals   And whether he wins or whether he don't   'I always pipes his eyeballs'      Now our friend Den, hours he spent   Down the snooker hall   On the old green baize his mates seem amazed   At skills with a snooker ball   And them long shots, he never ever got   Why? The old mind boggles   But nowadays he pots the lot   'Cos I wear these goggles'      Snooker loopy nuts are we   Me and him and them and me   We'll show you what we can do    With a load of balls and a snooker cue      Pot the reds then, screw back   For the yellow green brown blue pink and black   Snooker loopy nuts are we   We're all snooker loopy      Now Terry the taff was born in a gaff   In the valleys of the land of song   And as the reds he puts to bed   He likes to sing along   And if I win he says with a grin   It can only help me can't it   I'll celebrate, I'll buy another eight   'Hairbrushes for me barnet'      Now old Willy Thorne his hair's all gone   And his mates all take the rise   His opponent said cover up his head   Cos it's shining in my eyes   When the light shines down on his bare crown   It's a cert he's gonna walk it   It's just not fair giving off that glare   'Perhaps I ought to chalk it'      Snooker loopy nuts are we   Me and him and them and me   We'll show you what we can do    With a load of balls and a snooker cue      Pot the reds then, screw back   For the yellow green brown blue pink and black   Snooker loopy nuts are we   We're all snooker loopy      Now Steve last year come very near   To winning the snooker crown   But he never got to put it on his ginger nut   Cos the black ball wouldn't go down   His manager of all said 'Sod that ball'   But it helped him make his mind up   Now he don't care who wins this year   'Cos he's got the rest of us signed up'      Snooker loopy nuts are we   Me and him and them and me   We'll show you what we can do    With a load of balls and a snooker cue      Pot the reds then, screw back   For the yellow green brown blue pink and black   Snooker loopy nuts are we   We're all snooker loopy      Snooker loopy nuts are we   Me and him and them and me   We'll show you what we can do    With a load of balls and a snooker cue      Pot the reds then, screw back   For the yellow green brown blue pink and black   Snooker loopy nuts are we   We're all snooker loopy      Snooker loopy nuts are we   We're all snooker loopy      Snooker loopy nuts are we.....   We're all snooker loopy