Me and my friends kickin' in the household   Tryin' to figure out thoughts start to unfold   Nothing to do or see I can't understand   Combine all our thoughts to come up with a plan   Car alarm system too expensive to buy   But not if you're gonna hire this guy   With a helmet on his head and a club in his hand   Cock in sock, it's the naked jock man   Naked, naked, naked, jock   Naked, naked, naked, man   Tall dark man going to break into my car   With naked jock man he ain't gonna get far   Car alarm sounds, trunk lifts up   He jumps to the ground   What the fuck's that?    I can hear him scream in fright   Naked jock man just ruined his night   You can run, you can hide, just turn yourself in   Cause he'll get you in the end   He's the naked jock man   And he's after dan   Naked jock man   R-y-a-n   Now months have passed since the birth of the jock man   Sally jesse raphael and david letterman   Want the jock man to show his face   He's the next bitch on melrose place   Naked jock man was just a big joke   Now you'll see his ass on all the talk shows   The people want to know   They're willing to die   Who the fuck is that guy?