Fake Tales of San Francisco   Echo through the room   More point to a wedding disco   Without a bride or groom       There's a super cool band   Yeah with their trilbys and their glasses of white wine   And all the weekend rockstars in the toilets   Practicing their lines       I don't want to hear you   (Kick me out, kick me out)   I don't want to hear, you know   (Kick me out, kick me out)   I don't want to hear you   (Kick me out, kick me out)   I don't want to hear you   I don't want to hear your...       Fake Tales of San Fransisco   Echo through the air   And there's a few bored faces in the back   All wishing they weren't there       And as the microphone squeaks   A young girl's telephone beeps   Yeah she's dashing for the exit   And she's running to the streets outside   "Oh you've saved me," she screams down the line   "The band aren't very good   And I'm not having a nice time"       I don't wanna hear you   (Kick me out, kick me out)   I don't wanna hear, you know   (Kick me out, kick me out)      Yeah but his bird said it's amazing, though   So all that's left   Is the proof that love's not only blind but deaf       He talks of San Francisco, he's from Hunter's Bar   I don't quite know the distance   But I'm sure that's far   Yeah I'm sure that's pretty far       And yeah, I'd love to tell you all my problem   You're not from New York City, you're from Rotherham   So get off the bandwagon, and put down the handbook   Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah      Get off the bandwagon and put down the handbook   Get off the bandwagon and put down the handbook   Get off the bandwagon and put down the handbook   Get off the bandwagon and put down the handbook   Yeah