Ooh deary me   My little brother's in his bedroom smoking weed   I tell him he should get up ?cause it's nearly half past three   He can't be bothered ?cause he's high on THC      I ask him very nicely if he'd like a cup of tea   I can't even see him ?cause his room is so smoky   Don't understand how one can watch so much TV   My baby brother Alfie how I wish that you could see      I only say it ?cause I care   So please can you stop pulling my hair?   Now now there's no need to swear   Please don't despair my dear mon frère      Ooh Alfie get up it's a brand new day   I just can?t sit back and watch you waste your life away   You need to get a job because the bills need to get paid   Get off your lazy arse Alfie please use your brain      Surely there's some walls out there that you can go and spray   I'm feeling guilty here for leading you astray   Now how the hell do you ever expect that you'll get laid   When all you do is stay in playin? your computer games?      I only say it ?cause I care   So please can you stop pullin? my hair?   Now now there's no need to swear   Please don't despair my dear mon frère      Oh little brother please refrain from doing that   I'm trying to help you out so can you stop being a tw**?   It's time that you and I sat down and had a little chat   And look me in the eyes take off that stupid fitted cap      I only say it ?cause I care   So please can you stop pulling my hair?   Now now there's no need to swear   Please don't despair   Please don't despair   My mon frère