See them on their big bright screen   tan and blonde and seventeen   Eating nonfood keeps them mean   but they're young forever   If they must grow up   they marry dukes and earls   I hate California girls      They ain't broke, so they put on airs,   the faux folk sans derrieres   They breathe coke and they have affairs   with each passing rock star   They come on like squares   then get off like squirrels   I hate California girls      Looking down their perfect noses   at me and my kind   do they think we won't   well, never mind      Laughing through their perfect teeth   at everyone I know   do they think we won't    get up and go?      So   I have planned my grand attacks   I will stand behind their backs   with my brand-new battle ax   Then will they taste my wrath   They will hear me say   as the pavement whirls   "I hate California girls..."