I wish I had an evil twin   running 'round doing people in   I wish I had a very bad   and evil twin to do my will   to cull and conquer, cut and kill   just like I would   if I weren't good   and if I knew where to begin      down and down we go   how low no one would know   sometimes the good life wears thin   I wish I had an evil twin      my evil twin would lie and steal   and he would stink of sex appeal   all men would writhe   beneath his scythe   he'd send the pretty ones to me   and they would think that I was he   I'd hurt them and I'd go scot free      I'd get no blame and feel no shame   'cause evil's not my cup of tea      down and down we go   how low one would not need to know   all my life there should have been   an evil twin