Brew the coffee in a bucket   Double straight man and banjo   If you don't got the snake oil   Buster, you don't got a show   Who puts the do re me in our pockets   Keeps the party goin' on?   It's the man who sells the potions   I'm just the one who plays the songs      Now they generally buys   The bigger size   They usually rub it in   I drank it once, it tasted   Like grease and paraffin   It's mostly alcohol, okay   You can't deny it's strong   We was goin' through the motions   'Til the doctor came along      There stands the bottle   Ladies and gentlemen   All these bottles   Don't have to tell you, friends   These days miracles   Don't come fallin' from the sky   Raise your glasses to the doctor   To a stand up guy      When the monkey shine is flyin'   And he's promisin' the cure   He says the French for your lovesick blues   La maladie d'amour   He gets the chumps all laughin'   But he gets a few to buy   Here's a beefsteak when you're hungry   And whiskey when you're dry      Now the band'll blow their moolah   Like sailors gone ashore   Now we're goin' to West Helena   To gamble, drink and whore   Let's you and me all make whoopee   Here's mud in your eye   Here's to all the gals he ever want   And Heaven when you die      And there stands the bottle   Ladies and gentlemen   All these bottles   Don't have to tell you, friends   These days miracles   Don't come fallin' from the sky   Raise your glasses to the doctor   To a stand up guy      There's a big cheese with a cigar   Been sizin' up the show   He wants to get the doctor   Pitchin' on the radio   I will make a switch to guitar   But the rules all still apply   They want to trust somebody   Yeah, they want a stand up guy      There stands the bottle   Here's to absent friends   All these bottles   Dead soldiers in the end   These days miracles   Don't come fallin' on from the sky   Raise your glasses to the doctor   To a stand up guy      To the doctor   A stand up guy