I asked her what she wanted this year for our anniversary   She thought about it long and hard and then she said to me   "I?d really like a divorce, think I've finally had enough"   I said, "Honey, I wasn't planning on spending quite that much"      Well, it's cheaper to keep her than it is to let her go   I just can't seem to say goodbye to half of everything I own   Well, I am damned if I do and I am damned if I don't   Ya, it's cheaper to keep her than it is to let her go      She handed me some papers that she wanted me to sign   She pulled out a pen and pointed at that dotted line   It's not the thought of losing her that really breaks my heart   You see I'm in love with all my stuff and that's the hardest part      Well, it's cheaper to keep her than it is to let her go   I just can't seem to say goodbye to half of everything I own   Well, I am damned if I do and I am damned if I don't   Well, it's cheaper to keep her than it is to let her go      I started thinking about it, adding it up   The house, the boat, the car, the truck   When I see my attorney gonna kick his butt   For talking me out of that damn prenup      Well, it's cheaper to keep her than it is to let her go   I just can't seem to say goodbye to half of everything I own   Well, I am damned if I do and I am damned if I don't   Well, it's cheaper to keep her than it is to let her go   Ain?t gonna let her go