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Whether you are pro or anti
Or could not care less
We are here to tell you
We are here to sell you chess
Not a chance of you escaping from our wiles
We've locked the doors, we've blocked the aisles
We've a franchise worth exploiting
And we will - yes we will!
When it comes to merchandising
We could kill

When you get up -
When you get up in the morning
Till you crash at night
You will have to live your life
With bishop, rook and knight
Clean your teeth with chequered toothpaste
Wear our vests
Our kings and queens on bouncing breasts
You could even buy a set
And learn to play
We don't mind we'll sell you something
Anyway


We've done all our market research
And our findings show
That this game of chess could be around
A month or so
Maybe it's a bit confusing
For a game
But Rubik's Cubes were much the same
In the end the whole world bought one
All were gone
By which time we merchandisers
Had moved on

By which time we had moved on!
Whether you are pro or anti   Or could not care less   We are here to tell you   We are here to sell you chess   Not a chance of you escaping from our wiles   We've locked the doors, we've blocked the aisles   We've a franchise worth exploiting   And we will - yes we will!   When it comes to merchandising   We could kill      When you get up -   When you get up in the morning   Till you crash at night   You will have to live your life   With bishop, rook and knight   Clean your teeth with chequered toothpaste   Wear our vests   Our kings and queens on bouncing breasts   You could even buy a set   And learn to play   We don't mind we'll sell you something   Anyway         We've done all our market research   And our findings show   That this game of chess could be around   A month or so   Maybe it's a bit confusing   For a game   But Rubik's Cubes were much the same   In the end the whole world bought one   All were gone   By which time we merchandisers   Had moved on      By which time we had moved on!
 
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