I have this problem with my toe  And so I call my HMO  With a referral from  My primary care physician  They say my call matters to them  They're like an old and trusted friend  Except friends don't make you ask  Them for permission   The recording on the phone  Says Leave your message at the tone  Tell us your name, your age,  Your reason for submission  So I describe my nail ingrown,  Wax poetic on the phone  This is a metaphor  For the whole human condition  Tender  Sensitive  Painful   And now Im listening to Brahms  (music to keep the caller calm),  Starting to see things from  The stockholders perspective  Should I stop thinking of myself  While they are managing my health?  While an accountant finds a treatment  That's cost-effective   Hallelujah, I rejoice!  Is this a living human voice  Talking to me  Like Im a sweet, annoying female?  I plead my best bureaucratese  I would be down upon my knees  Cept I'd be leaning  On this poor, throbbing toenail  Painful  Purple  Festering   As for my coverage, they say no  This is a pre-existing toe  My policy excludes  All things pre-existing  So if I want the claim approved  The toe will have to be removed  Which they believe may keep  The problem from persisting  This makes my doctor quite irate  Why should he have to amputate?  In his opinion this condition could  Be better handled  And as for meI don't know  Id kinda like to keep the toe  I spent a fortune on these  Gorgeous Gucci sandals  Sexy  Size 6  Retail   I have been waiting patiently  Why aren't you listening to me?  Can't you see that it's  Trying my