Just outside of Johnson City  On a dark and twisting road  In a Kenworth 18-wheeler  With a heavy, shifting load  He was pushing through to Binghamton  Though the hour was getting late  Pfizers finest on a mission  To the pharmacies upstate  He was on a holy mission  There were men who couldnt wait  (for his thirty thousand pounds of Viagra)   Hed clocked seven hundred miles  Since he climbed into the rig  Just another twenty-five or so  Would finish up that gig  But the trailer hit an oil slick  And down the hill did fly (Oh, my!)  Til it landed at the bottom  In the towns water supply  It was instant rigor mortis  What a hard way to die!   CHORUS:  Save your sons  Shield your daughters  There's Viagra  In the waters   All over Johnson City  People rising with the dawn  They drank their morning coffee,  Took their showers, watered lawns  And who could have predicted  All the changes up ahead?  Men were getting up for work,  And heading back to bed  So many called in sick,  You would have thought a virus spread   Down at the courthouse coffee shop  Some stared in disbelief  As a pack of thirsty lawyers  Started filling out their briefs  But at the local college  Young men appeared much smarter  No chromosomal mystery  They simply studied harder  Now water on the rocks  Is the latest party starter   CHORUS   The Johnson City firemen  Cursed their wretched luck  They could not get their fire hoses  Wound back on the truck  Sprinkling holy water at a funeral,  Father Ryan said  "I know Ive saved their souls,  But Ive never raised the dead.  Would a couple o strong men help me now-