Spoken:   Lady:   If it's not asking too much,    Sung:  For our information  Just for illustration  Tell us how you intend to run the nation    Rufus T. Firefly:  These are the laws of my administration    No one's allowed to smoke  Or tell a dirty joke  And whistling is forbidden    Chorus:  We're not allowed to tell a dirty joke    Hail, hail Freedonia    Rufus:  If chewing gum is chewed  The chewer is pursued  And in the hooscall hidden    Chorus:  If we choose to chew we'll be pursued    Rufus:  If any form of pleasure is exibited  Report to me and it will be prohibited  I'll put my foot down, so shall it be  This is the land of the free    The last man nearly ruined this place  He didn't know what to do with it  If you think this country's bad off now,  Just wait 'til I get through with it    The country's taxes must be fixed  And I know what to do with it  If you think you're paying too much now  Just wait till I get throught with it    *whistle*    I will not stand for anything that's crooked or unfair  I'm strictly on the upper knot, so everyone beware  If any man's caught taking graft, and I don't get my share  We stand'im up against the wall and pop! Goes the weasel    Chorus:  So everyone beware, you're stricken or unfair  -------unless he gets his share    Rufus:  If any man should come between a husband and his bride  We'll find out which one she prefers by letting her decide  If she prefers the other man, the husband steps outside  We stand him up against the wall and pop! Goes the weasel    Chorus:  The husband steps outside, relinquishes his bride  They stand him up against the wall and take him for white