They're my Indian in-laws   Came to visit me and my squaw   Been here for a month y'all   I'm 'bout to lose my mind      I'm sick and tired of her paw-paw   Eatin' all of my bear claws   While he's watchin' ol' hee-haws   And drinkin' all my wine      I'm gonna scalp her maw-maw   Making long distance phone calls   To her friends in Arkansas   Talkin' on my dime      They're my Indian in-laws   They're drivin' me up the dang wall   Using all of my dental floss   And leave the room smelling bad      They moved into my wigwam   God Almighty, they're big bums   They order filet mignons   And stick me with the tab      They're hanging 'round my teepee   Can't wear my Buffalo briefs   Ain't had me no whoopee   Since week for last      They're my Indian in-laws   Hooked on Ex-Lax and Geritol   Have to run 'em to the shopping mall   Four times a day      Every single day   Seven days a week   My nerves are about shot   They are worryin' me to death      Sittin' there clipping toenails   Chain-smoking them Pell Mells   Wish they'd get them a motel   But they're too cheap to pay      Pretty soon if they don't leave   I'll take a pipe and pop his knee   Like Tanya did Nancy   They're skating on thin ice      I'll take my bow and arrow   Pretend I'm shootin' at a sparrow   I might miss and uhh oh   Hit her maw-maw's behind      They're my Indian in-laws   Might be kin to Tim McGraw   But they came to me, naw   Might have to leave my wife      'Cause my Indian in-laws   Came to visit me and my squaw   Been here for a month y'all   I'm about to lose my mind      Oh, one little, two little, three little Indians   Four little, five little, six little Indians   Seven little, eight little, nine little Indians   Ten little Indian in-laws      Oh no! Here comes her brother and her other brother   And then there's her sister brought her aunt Essie with her   And she's got two kids and they brought two friends   The whole tribes are comin', couldn't they have just made a reservation