Whispers: Be Vewy Vewy quiet. We are hunting... something.      Me and Harold Bumpert were outdoors men   Set in our backwoods ways   Both members of the huntin' club   Both active in the NRA -Nation Redneck Association   We scouted a location where we had no doubt   We'd kill the biggest buck in the world-about a 34 pointer   Harold waited in his tree stand but all he seen was a squirrel      (squirrel sounds)      Dang near two weeks since the the season started and    Neither one of us was amused   We had a on real tree camo, high-powered ammo   But no big game to shoot   Then we finally saw a deer as big as a horse   Harold had it in his cross-hairs   But that squirrel jumped off a branch above us and    Landed in Harold's hair (...get it out...)      Harold fell off the stand, on his head he landed   Like a wimp he laid there he cried   Till I climbed on down, picked him up off the ground   And it didn't take us long to decide...that squirrel had to die   Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha   Good-bye squirrel-with black-eyed peas   Your gonna taste good to me-squirrel   It's you or me   Ha ha ha ha ha ha   Come on out of that tree-squirrel   Hey guess what-You've eaten your last nut-squirrel      Me and Harold went down to the surplus store   Bought a keg of dynomite   Two baseball bats and a case of M80's   We were in for one heck of a fight-we'll show you      When your huntin' with dumb and dumber   Somethings surely bound to go wrong-now be careful   And when Harold lit that real short fuse   I knew it wouldn't be long      When the dynamite blew   Harold's foot did too   And fingers began to fly   We were barely alive when the Game Warden 'rived   And much to our suprise, that squirrel didn't die   Ha ha ha ha ha ha   Good-bye squirrel   Just one more shot (boom) , you'll be in my crock pot-squirrel   You'll make a lunch, you over grown chipmunk-squirrel   I'll skin ya hide   And make a hat when it's dried-squirrel      Dadblame, Earl, my gosh, Ronnie Milsap could see better than you.   I said gimme that, gimme that gun... Look out! (boom boom .. boom)   I think I killed something.